coffee

i drank coffee tonight and i thought it was pretty weak bc it tasted like milk, but i was wrong. i am all shaky now and i have butterflies like no other. its actually a great feeling.

its like im excited about nothing. these butterflies in my stomach make me anxious for something, something that i cant put a finger on. i dont know what, but it is..refreshing.

i wish i felt like this more. because my mind is all over the place, i just felt the urge to read my bible. the excitement from the coffee makes me excited to read God's word.

how awesome is that.

many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the Lords PURPOSE that prevails.

how EXCITING is that?!

humility comes before honor...how have you been humbled recently?

i am so wired right now.

Matthew 5:3

i get so frustrated with myself sometimes. i get frustrated when i feel inadequate...it is one of the most helpless feelings out there.

some time between after writing the previous post and now, i started listening to a matt chandler podcast on luke. he was talking about the beatitudes, specifically about being poor in spirit. ive had a rough idea of what that means, but im starting to understand it more.

Matthew 5:3 (New International Version)
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

being poor in spirit is feeling inadequate compared to the glory of God. it's feeling like there's nothing you could possibly do or not do to fully exemplify the presence of God in your life. blessed are those who feel unworthy to be in the presence of the Lord.

poor in spirit is where God wants us.

but poor in spirit doesn't mean that we are to stay poor in spirit. at the bottem of the pit, you must go up. being poor in spirit is a state that requires action. action to pursue a loving God, despite the sins that seem to cloud our pursuit of God.

sitting around and moping about our sins is where the devil wants us.

i feel

so inadequate

Gaurding a Womens Heart

we always hear about how girls can protect guys by dressing modestly, etc. the reason for that is because guys are visual creatures and so guys like to....visualize. but how come we dont hear about how guys can protect girls' hearts? girls really arent as visual as guys are, so dressing modestly for guys doesnt quite have the same impact on girls.

girls seemed to be more attracted to guys who are nice, guys who are gentlemen...guys who just simply know how to treat a women. this really gets a girl going..eh eh eh?? the way guys are initially attracted to a girl by looks is the same way girls are attracted to guys by their personalities.

but we, as men, need to protect the hearts of our fellow sisters in Christ. we cannot, and will not, allow our sisters to have their hearts broken into pieces, over and over again. ladies, we are here to protect your hearts, we care about you. you will no longer fall into sin by the captivating personalities of the gentlemen you have all fantasized about. there is only one way we can do this.

by showing that we really care about their hearts, we must act like we dont care about them. in order to protect the hearts of our sisters in Christ, we can no longer lead them to temptation by being nice and chivalrous. we must lead them to Christ, not nice guys. we must act now...no more mr. nice guy. this is a call to be jerks to all women, in hope that women will not be led astray by the dangerous men out there. stop being nice, stop opening doors for them, and no more paying for their food.

just think of the difference it would make in our world. girls wont fall for a guy who is nice and chivalrous..only to get her heart broken weeks later, instead christian girls all over will be developing deeper relationships with their girl friends and fellowshipping with one another. the true intentions of men who act like jerks to the women will begin to surface, and girls will see that the men who really care about them are the ones who protect their hearts. show that you care about them by showing that you dont care about them. this renovation of the heart will change the lives of christian women all over the world.

men...we must act now.

a womens heart is beautiful. lets keep it that way.


---------------------------

*contrary to popular misunderstanding, i do not condone this message..only for some. jk!

apostolic passion

If you have apostolic passion, you are one of the most dangerous people on the planet.

in 10 seans

i feel like i need to get some stuff out so i'll just blog about it. im having one of those moments where i feel like i want to pour my soul out. at the same time, i cant think of any words to describe what i want to say.

sort of OT (off topic..i learned that on a forum ive been reading!), but i'll talk about something i've been thinking about since the conference...not so much a soul-pouring moment, but here it goes. one thing ive been struggling with is having a Christ-centered life. i know we need it, but ive been trying to figure out what i would change in my life to make it more Christ-centered. its hard for me to say something in my life is NOT Cc (my new abbreviation, it'll be popular some day), so it's been hard for me to discern what i need to change in my life.

alex shared about an area in his life that i felt resonated with mine. while sharing in epic about what we learned from the conference, he talked about how he feels that he has different intentions with different friends. for example, i'll eat lunch with this friend..i'll work out with this friend..i'll be goofy with this friend..and it'll be spiritual with this friend. i definitely do this and i think its a pattern we all fall into. it isnt Christ-like. Jesus didnt have that mindset at all, he ate and hung out with the his disciples, beggars, prostitutes, and the unwanted. he didnt say "i'll talk about my glory to these people, but with those people, i'll just have fun." if we want to be Christ-like with our friends, then we need to have the SAME intentions with all of them, and that is to share about the gospel of Jesus Christ. but of course, there are different approaches to doing this for different people, so use discernment!

stay tuned until i find a way to articulate what i truly wanted to say!

(in 10 seans = intentions...hehe get it...?)

two-do list

i need to be productive this weekend!
1. work on essays for UT
2. wash clothes

i need someone to remind me to do these things! i learned another valuable lesson the other day.

valuable lesson #2. dont wait until you run out of underwear* to wash your clothes:
i went the whole day thinking i was on my last pair. i told myself i would wash my clothes that night, but i never did. thought ran through my mind, such as, "how many different ways can i wear my underwear? 2? 3?...4?" it wasnt until the next day that i saw three pairs of underwear hidden under a tshirt in my drawer. i was so relieved that i could wait at least 3 more days to do laundry!

this leads me to my next lesson.

valuable lesson #3. have an emergency stash of underwear and hide it where you wont find it:
this is sort of like a savings account. you put money into an account and you just leave it there for when you might desperately need it. underwear, like money, needs to be saved in a safe place where you wont touch it until you desperately need it. or when you run out of underwear and you think the world is coming to end. thats when you remember your emergency stash of underwear that will last you a good 3+ days... depending on how you wear them.

stay tuned for more valuable lessons with sean


(*underwear means boxers. i do not wear whitey tighties. i wear BOXERS!! rwar!!)

sigh...i need to grow up. i cant believe i wrote a whole blog about my underwear experience. this was supposed to be a to-do list for things..

a valuable lesson

i learned a valuable lesson today. dont skip your classes, its not worth it! i bet you've never heard that one. today i decided i would skip my macroeconomics class to go to guitar center with kai. i get a call/text from donald/loren telling me there is probably going to be a quiz. i end up freaking out and stressing the whole time, thinking that i should have just gone to class. when i got back i found out the quiz will be next week, instead. phew...i am a new person now.

a new excitement

at the epic conference i decided that i want to forget summer school and instead go on a summer project in hawaii with Epic. i REALLY want to go! however, i need to pray about this and see if this is how God wants me to spend 7 weeks of my summer. i also need to keep in mind that it isn't a VACATION, but it is work for the Lord.

working for the Lord...in hawaii. how awesome would that be...

spiritual growth

so ive been in this spiritual growth class that kyumin, pastor of hana church and, i guess, sponsor of epic, is teaching. so far it has been great. we just learned about the role of the church and 7 principles of spiritual growth.

1. spiritual growth does not come naturally or automatically, you have to be intentional and INTEND to grow.
2. spiritual growth is incremental. it is not instantaneous like from after a conference or retreat.
3. spiritual growth is practical. the myth is that growth comes from a supernatural experience.
4. spiritual growth is relational. we need to be in the community of others, we cant do it by ourselves.

Hebrews 10:24-25

24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

5. spiritual growth is multidemensional in:
nature - myth: growth is measured by what i know.
disciplines - it doesnt happen just by attending church.
location - myth: growth is how you act at church.
purpose -

6. spiritual growth is seasonal. it is not constant, it happens in waves or bursts. theres the analogy of winter/spring. in the winter, the roots of plants deepen so that in spring it can grow. us, like plants, experience dryness during different periods of our lives, but we need to deepen our roots through these experiences so that we can grow when the time comes.

7. spiritual growth is incarnational. it cant happen by just trying harder.

Joshua 5:13-14

through a recent bible study, ive been starting to understand an aspect of God that we seem to neglect. i think we throw around this idea of Gods grace so much that we forget what it really is. we get so caught up in the idea of Gods grace benefiting us that we forget what it is really about. im not a theologian or expert on anything in the bible, but i can say it is so easy for us to center our relationship with God solely on ourselves. we look at everything in our lives only from our point of view say things like, "God did that so that i could do this" or "God is doing this right now so that i can realize this". im not saying God doesnt use circumstances in our lives to reveal things to us, but i think God uses circumstances in our lives to reveal much bigger things, for instance, his glory. when we reflect on what God is doing based on our benefit, we are making ourselves the focal point of our relationship and we make God seem like a good luck charm.

joshua realized the same thing when he was confronted by God and asked the question, "are you for us or for our enemies?"

Joshua went up to him and asked, "Are you for us or for our enemies?" 14 "Neither," he replied, "but as commander of the army of the LORD I have now come." Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence...

joshua is basically asking, "are you on my side?" and when joshua realizes that he is asking the wrong question, he falls to his face. in the same way we act like God comes in our lives so that we can benefit different circumstances here and there, but in reality, our existence is to glorify God and worship Him everything we do. that is something ive been realizing it's one way God has been changing my perspective. we do this when we pray also. we ask God to do this and that for us, we make ourselves the focus and just leave out the will of God. instead of focusing our prayers on our needs/desires, we to change our focus to desire the will of God. that is something i have been learning and trying to change in my life.