the second thing this experience revealed to me, was the importance of leaders to mesh and understanding different peoples strengths and weakness. when i look at us four leaders in epic, its pretty clear how we work. alex is the visionary, while joann, james, and i are all more the administrative type. this can definitely have its strengths, but only when learned how to apply it. for example, it is important for a visionary to come up with big plans and see the bigger picture. at the same time, the administrative types need to look at the logistics of the situations. however, when working at two completely opposite ends, the big and small picture, conflict can easily arise. things can become messy and opposing viewpoints may become a stressful. "how are we supposed to effectively reach out to so and so on campus if we dont have _____, ____, and ___!!" for these strengths to be capitalized, they need to be working from the same angle - an angle that both parties can agree upon and start from. by creating this starting point, both points of views can work towards the same goal.
and thats why it's so important for people to understand how each others leadership styles are and where everyones strengths are. as we've worked together this year in epic, i can definitely say that we've all learned a lot about leading and what it means to be a leader. i look forward to what i will learn later in life.
until then, bye.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
moments like these
tonight was one of those moments...one of those moments where the bigger picture suddenly becomes clear, and you realize how little you are compared to God. in a multitude of big and subtle ways, God has been reminding me how much i need to rely on God, and not on myself.
tonight was our first ever annual talent show for epic. i'd be lying if i said i thought it was going to be awesome from start to finish and that i knew God would provide for everything. but the truth is, i felt uneasy about many things, simply because of all the uncertainties.
this revealed a couple things to me. first, it revealed to me the need to rely on God, especially when things arent certain or clear to me. this is extremely applicable to me as i am currently raising funds for my missions trip to hawaii. i like to be certain about things, and not knowing when or how i am getting money is very scary for me. i like to look at the details. i like to look at the logistics, then pan my way out towards the big picture. maybe theres a lot of people like this, maybe not, but it really prevented me from seeing the bigger picture, God's picture.
it prevented me from seeing what God had in plan, and it prevented me from putting my full faith in God's all-knowing power. my reliance on myself was in full-swing as i failed to look at what God's bigger picture was really about. it wasnt about the small technicalities that i knew would be tough from the start...it wasnt the lack of resources and lack of time that made things so nerve-wrecking...and it certainly wasnt my halfhearted, reliance on my measly self. shortly after the show had started, and after the stress had begun to wear off, the bigger picture became clear to me...it was one of those moments. we were all sitting in the back of the stage, sitting and waiting while listening to the beautiful voice of one of the female singing performers who had showed up 30 minutes prior to the act. and as i made brief eye contact with joann, i knew for that very moment, she was feeling what i was feeling (as for james too, but at a much later time). it was both powerful and humbling. God works in ways so that his glory can be shown through the weak.
i will post the second thing i learned in a couple days...
tonight was our first ever annual talent show for epic. i'd be lying if i said i thought it was going to be awesome from start to finish and that i knew God would provide for everything. but the truth is, i felt uneasy about many things, simply because of all the uncertainties.
this revealed a couple things to me. first, it revealed to me the need to rely on God, especially when things arent certain or clear to me. this is extremely applicable to me as i am currently raising funds for my missions trip to hawaii. i like to be certain about things, and not knowing when or how i am getting money is very scary for me. i like to look at the details. i like to look at the logistics, then pan my way out towards the big picture. maybe theres a lot of people like this, maybe not, but it really prevented me from seeing the bigger picture, God's picture.
it prevented me from seeing what God had in plan, and it prevented me from putting my full faith in God's all-knowing power. my reliance on myself was in full-swing as i failed to look at what God's bigger picture was really about. it wasnt about the small technicalities that i knew would be tough from the start...it wasnt the lack of resources and lack of time that made things so nerve-wrecking...and it certainly wasnt my halfhearted, reliance on my measly self. shortly after the show had started, and after the stress had begun to wear off, the bigger picture became clear to me...it was one of those moments. we were all sitting in the back of the stage, sitting and waiting while listening to the beautiful voice of one of the female singing performers who had showed up 30 minutes prior to the act. and as i made brief eye contact with joann, i knew for that very moment, she was feeling what i was feeling (as for james too, but at a much later time). it was both powerful and humbling. God works in ways so that his glory can be shown through the weak.
i will post the second thing i learned in a couple days...
Monday, April 20, 2009
my parents are human
this really made think twice about the way i deal with my parents. i used to be quite the typical rebellious teenager, and sometimes i find myself going back that. things have changed a lot since ive gone off to college, changed for the good. that is something i am so thankful for in regards to me moving away for college.
this really made think twice about the way i deal with my parents. i used to be quite the typical rebellious teenager, and sometimes i find myself going back that. things have changed a lot since ive gone off to college, changed for the good. that is something i am so thankful for in regards to me moving away for college.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
i need $4200 by June 20th
if i havent already told you, this summer i have been given the opportunity to minister to the locals in Hawaii with Epic for 7 weeks. if you are here from clicking my link on facebook, then i would like to thank you for actually making that little step. i know its easy to glance over the notes on facebook and skim through without a thought. the following is a letter that i gave out to a lot of people in my home church:
To bring you up to date, I am finishing my freshman year of college at the University of Texas at San Antonio, and I will be continuing my education in UT Austin in the fall. I have learned much about my faith, and it has grown tremendously. This summer I am going on a 7-week missions trip to a little group of islands, known as Hawaii. When most people think of missions, the first places that probably come to mind are Africa, East Asia, and maybe Mexico. Most people will equate missions with foreign, and when they hear Hawaii, they think vacation. I am not going anywhere foreign, and I am not going there for vacation. In fact, I am going to Hawaii to continue God's work.
Campus Crusade for Christ (http://campuscrusadeforchrist.com/) is a Christian
ministry that has been caring for college students since 1951. The Lord has used this ministry to help me grow in my faith and to give me a burden to reach people for Christ. This summer I have been blessed with the opportunity to further His kingdom by going to Hawaii with Epic, the Asian American branch of Campus Crusade for Christ. In order to build Christian ministries on campuses, we will be in Hawaii sharing our faith to locals. Because Hawaii is majority Asian, our cultural identity through Epic will hopefully resonate through locals of similar ethnicity. Weekly activities on this summer project may include beach evangelism, organizing weekly meetings, or having socials with students we meet throughout our stay.
When I learned about the need for students to go on this trip, I didn't jump at this opportunity as quickly as I should have. With future plans involving summer school and a job, I felt that I needed to dedicate my summer after my first year in college towards furthering my education. However, after attending an Epic conference this past February, God softened my heart by revealing my selfish ambitions and motives. I slowly began to realize that my plans for summer school were rooted in my lack of faith - my lack of faith that God would provide for me. I simply felt that going to summer school would stabilize my future. My life's purpose is not about succeeding in academics or getting ahead in school, but it is about furthering His kingdom by making disciples of all nations.
In order for me to go on this mission's trip, I need to develop a team of ministry partners...a group of people like you who would give to make my trip possible. As you might imagine raising the necessary funds will be one of my greatest steps of faith in preparation for the summer. I need a total of $4200 by June 20, which covers room and board for the summer as well as transportation. Would you prayerfully consider joining my team by contributing whatever amount the Lord leads you?
Above all else, I need your prayers as I reach out to the lost people of these islands. Please pray for me and my team, and thank you for considering a contribution to help me meet my goals. :)
-------------------------------------------------------
SO...if you'd like to support me financially, click here :)
$4200 is a lot of money and i would be lying if i said i wasnt worried. i have never had to raise this much money, but i know He will provide if it is truly in His will. i currently have $500 out of $4200 and will take anything i can get!
Monday, April 13, 2009
youre going..where?!
so, lots of answered prayers this weekend. praise God!
to start off, i went back to houston mainly to give out support letters to church friends and family friends. i had about 60 letters. i was pretty sure i wasnt going to get them all out, but oh well.. shoot for the moon.
i got back thursday night, and ended up sleeping until 2pm (before sleeping, i realized i left my laptop charger in SAN ANTONIO, but thank goodness donald was coming back on friday so he gave it to me that night at good friday service.) with no car, no laptop, and nothing to do, i just sat in my room reading my bible and praying. my mom also ended up giving me like 15 more names of family friends.
needless to say, i was a bit overwhelmed with all the letters i needed to give out, but that night at the good friday service, i managed to get more than half of them out. not only that, people i completely forgot about ended up asking me if i had one for them. i would pretend to look for it, then lie and say "oh i forgot it at home," then write their name down to give to them on sunday. i ended up adding like 20 more people to my monster support letter list.
on sunday i gave out all my letters but 5 and a sense of satisfaction and comfort just flew onto me. ive been really stressing about getting letters out and collecting support, but now that ive done my part, i know i can rely on God to take care of the rest.
oh and the reactions. almost everyone would say something along the lines of, "what? youre going to hawaii? thats a vacation! you dont need support!"
haha, but hey...people in hawaii need God too! this isnt a vacation! this is a missions trip! at least that what i keep telling myself
to start off, i went back to houston mainly to give out support letters to church friends and family friends. i had about 60 letters. i was pretty sure i wasnt going to get them all out, but oh well.. shoot for the moon.
i got back thursday night, and ended up sleeping until 2pm (before sleeping, i realized i left my laptop charger in SAN ANTONIO, but thank goodness donald was coming back on friday so he gave it to me that night at good friday service.) with no car, no laptop, and nothing to do, i just sat in my room reading my bible and praying. my mom also ended up giving me like 15 more names of family friends.
needless to say, i was a bit overwhelmed with all the letters i needed to give out, but that night at the good friday service, i managed to get more than half of them out. not only that, people i completely forgot about ended up asking me if i had one for them. i would pretend to look for it, then lie and say "oh i forgot it at home," then write their name down to give to them on sunday. i ended up adding like 20 more people to my monster support letter list.
on sunday i gave out all my letters but 5 and a sense of satisfaction and comfort just flew onto me. ive been really stressing about getting letters out and collecting support, but now that ive done my part, i know i can rely on God to take care of the rest.
oh and the reactions. almost everyone would say something along the lines of, "what? youre going to hawaii? thats a vacation! you dont need support!"
haha, but hey...people in hawaii need God too! this isnt a vacation! this is a missions trip! at least that what i keep telling myself
Friday, April 10, 2009
the goodness of friday
this was the first time going to a good friday service since i have entered the college life. it all felt so new and refreshing. for the first time i was thinking, "wow the orchestra and the choir are really amazing". i definitely would not have felt that way in high school.
while sitting and listening to the scripture readings and orchestra/choir, i was saddened by a verse that came to mind.
anyway, just a thought..
while sitting and listening to the scripture readings and orchestra/choir, i was saddened by a verse that came to mind.
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing...isnt that sad? the crux and the driving force of our christian lives is simply a foolish fairy tale to the people in this world who dont believe. the hope that we find that gives our lives purpose is nonexistent in the person who sees this message as foolish.
1 Corinth. 1:18
anyway, just a thought..
Sunday, April 5, 2009
complete
there are a few things occurring in my life simultaneously that make my day/life feel complete.
1. bible in 90 days - i would say quiet time, but it's not quite the same. its reading 12 pages a day, which takes almost an hour to finish. going through the new testament at this pace is so refreshing. ive always had this fragmented understanding of the events that took place in the bible, but reading it straight through really changes your perspective and helps you to understand the big picture so much more. im in acts right now, and so far its my favorite book in the bible.
2. outreach - once a week we (epic/cru) go on the campus and evangelize to strangers using soularium. soularium is so helpful in initiating spiritual conversation, its amazing. i know it's the spirit working through us, but we havent had a "bad" one yet. everyone we've spoken to so far has been so open to hearing what we have to say. yesterday we talked to this one guy for about one and a half hours. in the end i asked if i could pray for him, and he said he felt "honored". after that, the rest of the day was pretty dull and unproductive, but i felt satisfied knowing that i had shared my faith with someone.
3. flossing - haha ok i am really bad with doing this daily, especially bc of the bar under my front row of teeth, i hate flossing through that. ive sort of made a vow with myself that i would start taking really good care of my teeth. this involves flossing daily and wearing my retainer daily. once i start flossing, i get really into it and it takes me a really long time. thank goodness my bleeding phase is over
4. taking good pictures - i went on a "photoshoot" with donald and loren today. i hate saying "photoshoot" bc it sounds professional and im not. but regardless, i went on top of the garage again and took some pictures of them. having pleasing pictures in my camera makes me feel satisfied, haha. i cant find my sd card reader so i cant upload them anywhere. argh!
1. bible in 90 days - i would say quiet time, but it's not quite the same. its reading 12 pages a day, which takes almost an hour to finish. going through the new testament at this pace is so refreshing. ive always had this fragmented understanding of the events that took place in the bible, but reading it straight through really changes your perspective and helps you to understand the big picture so much more. im in acts right now, and so far its my favorite book in the bible.
2. outreach - once a week we (epic/cru) go on the campus and evangelize to strangers using soularium. soularium is so helpful in initiating spiritual conversation, its amazing. i know it's the spirit working through us, but we havent had a "bad" one yet. everyone we've spoken to so far has been so open to hearing what we have to say. yesterday we talked to this one guy for about one and a half hours. in the end i asked if i could pray for him, and he said he felt "honored". after that, the rest of the day was pretty dull and unproductive, but i felt satisfied knowing that i had shared my faith with someone.
3. flossing - haha ok i am really bad with doing this daily, especially bc of the bar under my front row of teeth, i hate flossing through that. ive sort of made a vow with myself that i would start taking really good care of my teeth. this involves flossing daily and wearing my retainer daily. once i start flossing, i get really into it and it takes me a really long time. thank goodness my bleeding phase is over
4. taking good pictures - i went on a "photoshoot" with donald and loren today. i hate saying "photoshoot" bc it sounds professional and im not. but regardless, i went on top of the garage again and took some pictures of them. having pleasing pictures in my camera makes me feel satisfied, haha. i cant find my sd card reader so i cant upload them anywhere. argh!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
grace or disgrace?
there are certain things coming up that really make me question if a common understanding of grace is really a blaspheming God's name. that can be a little unsettling, but this is what ive come to ask myself...
are christians looking at their lives and seeing God's grace because it benefits them?
is God more gracious when our lives are made more comfortable, or when our future becomes more promising?
is God's grace being treated as a good luck charm?
are christians simply putting a christian label to something in order to find peace with God?
are christians looking at their lives and seeing God's grace because it benefits them?
is God more gracious when our lives are made more comfortable, or when our future becomes more promising?
is God's grace being treated as a good luck charm?
are christians simply putting a christian label to something in order to find peace with God?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Remain in my love
i just heard a good message (again) by roderick on relationships and the importance of courtship. even though it was something that i've already heard and learned, it was good to hear this refreshing reminder. i think its so easy to compromise God's standards because of our fleeting feelings and emotions. while the idea of courtship isnt new to me, over time i find myself slipping into a worldly pursuit of a fairytail love.
the biggest reminder for me was that God is the only one who can meet our needs. often times we think everything will be fine once we are in that perfect relationship. but NO! God says to us, "only when you find complete joy and satisfaction in ME, will you be able to enjoy that relationship that i have planned for you. and trust me, true joy and satisfaction can be found ONLY in me."
my heart is a God-sized vacuum and only God can fill it.
the biggest reminder for me was that God is the only one who can meet our needs. often times we think everything will be fine once we are in that perfect relationship. but NO! God says to us, "only when you find complete joy and satisfaction in ME, will you be able to enjoy that relationship that i have planned for you. and trust me, true joy and satisfaction can be found ONLY in me."
9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.Just remain in His love so that our joy can be complete. remain in his love. remain in his love. remain in his love....remain in his love....remain in his love.
-John 15:9-11
my heart is a God-sized vacuum and only God can fill it.
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