moments like these

tonight was one of those moments...one of those moments where the bigger picture suddenly becomes clear, and you realize how little you are compared to God. in a multitude of big and subtle ways, God has been reminding me how much i need to rely on God, and not on myself.

tonight was our first ever annual talent show for epic. i'd be lying if i said i thought it was going to be awesome from start to finish and that i knew God would provide for everything. but the truth is, i felt uneasy about many things, simply because of all the uncertainties.

this revealed a couple things to me. first, it revealed to me the need to rely on God, especially when things arent certain or clear to me. this is extremely applicable to me as i am currently raising funds for my missions trip to hawaii. i like to be certain about things, and not knowing when or how i am getting money is very scary for me. i like to look at the details. i like to look at the logistics, then pan my way out towards the big picture. maybe theres a lot of people like this, maybe not, but it really prevented me from seeing the bigger picture, God's picture.

it prevented me from seeing what God had in plan, and it prevented me from putting my full faith in God's all-knowing power. my reliance on myself was in full-swing as i failed to look at what God's bigger picture was really about. it wasnt about the small technicalities that i knew would be tough from the start...it wasnt the lack of resources and lack of time that made things so nerve-wrecking...and it certainly wasnt my halfhearted, reliance on my measly self. shortly after the show had started, and after the stress had begun to wear off, the bigger picture became clear to me...it was one of those moments. we were all sitting in the back of the stage, sitting and waiting while listening to the beautiful voice of one of the female singing performers who had showed up 30 minutes prior to the act. and as i made brief eye contact with joann, i knew for that very moment, she was feeling what i was feeling (as for james too, but at a much later time). it was both powerful and humbling. God works in ways so that his glory can be shown through the weak.


i will post the second thing i learned in a couple days...