i will not take my love away..

its late, but if i put off my blogging/journaling to later, i just never find the motivation to do it.

tonight was our last epic social, which was meant to be bittersweet because of sharing and worship. lemme tell you, spontaneity really makes you rely on God to provide, and when you do that, the result will be good. tonight was one of those times. tonight's sharing is evidence of how great God has been in all of our lives this whole past year. as we all shared about our before/afters of epic, it was so touching to see how we have all, in a way, influenced ones spiritual growth in one way or another. whether it was linking different groups of friends, to directly talking to someone about God, our lives have been affected in such a big way.

as i shared tonight, i was really able to see how much we need to depend on God, more specifically, how much God provides and WILL provide.

the past couple days i've been making a video of the whole past year, collaborating videos and pictures to sum up everything we've done this year. it took me a long time to do, but im so glad i did it. while watching the video along with the song "i will not take my love away" by matt wertz, i was just constantly reminded how God's hand has been part of every one of our friendships, how we've all changed so much this past year, and how much our fellowship has meshed and grown together as true brothers and sisters in Christ. i watched it maybe 20 times, and it almost brought me to the point of tears every time.

I will not take my love away. I will not take my love away.

those repeated lines were so strong as i thought about God directly saying that to me. i could hear God telling me, "i will not take my love way. not when you go to UT, not when a large portion of the epic fellowship leaves, not when you think there arent enough resources, and not when you lose sight of me." a big struggle of mine this year has been my constant debate on moving on to UT and staying in UTSA. i still dont know what it is God wants me to do, but i have a hard time discerning what it is God wants me to do. its hard for me to find the definite pathway of where God wants to lead me, of course, but at the same time, whether i choose utsa or ut, he is telling me, "I will not take my love away."

it wasnt until i looked at all these photos and videos that i was able piece together these bits and pieces to see the big picture. it wasnt until all these memories of mine were collaborated that i was able to have that "aha" moment where everything becomes clearer. not clear, just clearer. it suddenly became clearer that God was there in every one of those pictures and videos and he was the one piecing it all together. my experience at utsa has been a lasting memory, and i only look forward to what God has in store for me in the future.

stay tuned for my next post: what i've learned about leadership