3 cavities

today i was humbled. not in the traditional i-am-so-inadequate-compared-to-God way, but in the i-havent-looked-at-it-like-that-lately kind of way...which sort of does equate to the traditional way, except i was reminded in a nontraditional way. long story short, i went to the dentist today and found out that i have three cavities.

short story long. i brush my teeth thoroughly at least twice a day and floss once a day. i even wear my retainer [at least] three times a week (not that it affects my teeth)! pretty standard right? last school year i didnt even drink soda. ok maybe once a week on fridays when i felt really rebellious. but really, with those habits, how do you get cavities? how do you not have perfect teeth?

so its pretty ironic, because i leave for austin tomorrow. jokingly, i said to a friend, "wouldn't it suck if i found out that i had cavities then had to come back labor day to get them filled?" But really i'm thinking, "me with cavities? yeah right!"

while my new dentist was examining my teeth with her pitchfork and mirror, she makes awkward small talk, which wasnt really small talk. she was talking about church and asking about my dad being a pastor. i badly wanted to explain myself, but the only words i could say were "uhhuh" and "nu uh". in between that, she nonchalantly goes "you've got three small cavities." and that was all she said. then she turns toward her assistant and tells her about not being able to take her son to schlitterbahn.

so many thoughts began to circle my mind. was she serious? how small are they? do i need to do anything about it? can i get them filled now and get it over with? do i even have to get them filled? how do i even have cavities in the first place?

she finished cleaning my teeth shortly after that, and tells me i can make my way towards the front to get a statement about the cavities. thoughts still running through my mind, i approach my dentist and ask her some questions about the cavities in my mouth. here is what she said:

You have three small cavities in your mouth. they're hard to see, but they're there. you have to get them filled or else they will get bigger. you dont have to get them filled now, but its highly recommended that you do get them filled. it could stay the same size, it could get bigger, but it wont get smaller. see, the cavity is in a crevice so deep and small that brushing could never reach it. when you were younger, you probably got these crevices covered to prevent these cavities, but over time these coverings go away and your teeth become more vulnerable. it's not that you dont brush or floss your teeth enough. in fact, no matter how much you floss and brush your teeth, you can't prevent these kind of cavities. its because of the anatomy of your teeth that bacteria will get into the deepest parts of the tooth and just hide there. it's simply the way they are shaped..the way they are designed..and you need to get them filled.

i nodded in understanding, filled out my papers, and left the office with a little smile. a little smile because it was comforting to know that my cavities weren't caused by a lack of anything that i did, but rather because of the way my teeth were formed. and a little smile because it was comforting to know that even though there is nothing on earth that i could possibly do to make myself worthy of His presence, the holes in my life have already been filled by Him.