where would you go?

today i had a friendly conversation with a guy named "bob". it was a typical get-to-know-you conversation which quickly turned into a here-is-what-we-believe conversation, which slowly turned into a how-can-i-believe-in-a-god-that-allows-so-much-hurt conversation.

a couple day ago, i met a guy, "joe", who recently accepted Christ. i talked to him for a couple hours about his testimony and how he felt to be a christian. he said this:

i just became christian before this summer. i used to be atheist. you dont want to be atheist. i had suicidal thoughts all the time...i had no hope. all i could think about was how I wanted to change MY life. i was selfish. it never occurred to me that there was a God out there. when i found God, i found the purpose of life.

tonight when i thought about what he said in relation to bob, i just started crying. the fact that "bob" could possibly be going through what joe went through is heart breaking. it scares me that he doesnt believe in God. i wonder how one can live life without knowing God. how can anything in life have any purpose at all without God?

shortly after, i realized that i often ask myself the wrong questions. i sometimes talk to people as if my words can change their lives. as if i could say the right things at the right times, and then they will come to the realization that God does truly exist, or that there really is life after death. and then when the right time comes, at the climax of the conversation, this question will roll off my tongue: if you were to die tomorrow, where would you go?

i wonder what it would look like if i asked this question instead: if they were to die tomorrow, how could i treat them differently right now?

would it change the way i treated them and talked to them? would it make me love them more? would it make me share the gospel with them more passionately?

i think i lack urgency when i see my friends. i rely on "later" instead of now. i tell myself i need to build this awesome trusting and perfect friendship before i can say anything spiritual. i lose sight of the future and only think of now. maybe a change in my perspective would change the way i treated the people around me